Klutz or Kluznik?

 

Have you ever heard of the Kluznikian Calendar? Probably not. There's no reason why you should have. I came across it while doing research for a story I was writing.ⁱ That calendar is one of many that claim to reform our current system – to “correct” it by supplying one that is permanent, with specific dates occurring on the same day of the week every year. It does this by mandating thirteen twenty-eight day months, with time at the end of the year that is a holiday and not part of a week. Its creator views it as a rationalization, an improvement, but the meddling has severe repercussions for anyone who wishes to observe a Sabbath every seven days, since that won't be the same day each year. This was one of the themes I was exploring in the story.

That is not to say that our current calendar is perfect. I don't think it is. But it seems clear that any changes must take into consideration the realities of people and institutions that rely on the the one that exists. The concern over the “Y2K” problem a few years ago, and its implications for all of humanity, illustrate the extent to which we are governed by the calendar. That the concern was overblown and unnecessary does not mitigate its significance, and besides the opposition of the religious communities, attention should be paid to the implications for computers, commerce, and custom.

But there is a change I'd like to see and it does not require any alteration in the week or in any aspect of the calendar itself: only a change in our conventions. Although it is primarily a European celebration, “midsummer” is observed around the world. (In Australia, for example, it occurs at a time when the weather is cold, since the seasons are opposite to ours in the Southern Hemisphere.) In Europe its celebration is usually linked (within a few days) to the summer solstice. In actuality, then, “midsummer” occurs at the beginning of summer. (I'm not quite sure when the “midwinter jicker” takes place, but I have to admit I've never been to Solla Sollew.ⁱⁱ)

In any event, the “seasons” are a human invention linked to the origin of calendars in general. They are designed to help people (farmers) know when to plant crops.ⁱⁱⁱ Since the recurring cycle of planting weather is related to the earth's position (and the seasons have different implications in this regard in the Southern Hemisphere) it is not surprising that the identification markers should be determined by the stargazers. (There are others, though, who are guided by the seasons and the weather that accompanies them; who earn their livings or adjust their lives based on them. Among them are airlines, skiers, leaf-peepers, and bears.) But the realities of the stars and the weather are with us for the foreseeable future. Everyone talks about them, etc.

We needn't be stuck, however, with the seasons as we've defined them. It will take no changes in the days of the week or the months of the year to start what we call summer about forty-five days before we do now – May 5^th is as easy to remember as June 21^st – and, ridiculous as it may sound, that will put midsummer's night, and the longest day of the year, in the middle of summer. If we change the beginnings of autumn and spring to August 5^th and February 5^th we can have the equinoxes in the middles of their seasons rather than at the beginnings. Placing the middle of winter on the longest day of the year makes a good deal of sense, although a starting date of November 5^th may confuse those who celebrate Thanksgiving – an “autumn” holiday – at the end of that month.^iv But changing the way we name the seasons won't change harvest time, and farming based on the stars ended a long time ago, so there shouldn't be any agrarian repercussions. (And if farmers are still interested, they can still use the stars rather than an artificial schedule.)

That's a calendar change I can live with. It seems rational. It may not be “reform,” but it doesn't do any damage either.

Next episode: “Go, Doe, Roe” – No, it's not Dr. Suess.

i    “Home” – 2011

ii   “I Had Trouble In Getting To Solla Sollew” by Dr. Seuss. – 1965

iii   Actually it's only a help. The planting was based on celestial signs, not the calendar.

iv   Having Election Day in winter may offend some, but most Americans don't vote anyway. They just claim they do so they can take time off.