The Solution

 

I was going through some old papers dating back to a time when I was involved in administration, and found this final examination. I must admit that I didn't read this at the time I started, but now I find that it explains a lot of what I experienced.

The Essentials of Administration

Part I

1. Increasing the number of regulations in an otherwise fixed system

      a. increases the efficiency of the operation
      b. increases the number of regulation makers
      c. both of the above
      d. I don't understand the question

2. Adding salaried administrators to an organization will

      a. lead to long-term cost savings
      b. encourage creative approaches to existing problems
      c. increase the number of salaried administrators
      d. I don't understand the question

3. Rules and regulations, as set forth in the administration manuals, are

      a. admirable
      b. a constant source of inspiration
      c. an unending cause for wonder
      d. I don't understand the question

4. When in doubt
      a. refer the matter to your superior
      b. write a new policy
      c. blame someone not present
      d. I don't understand the question

5. The primary purpose of copying someone on a memo is

      a. to cover yourself
      b. to get him or her involved
      c. to support the paper industry
      d. I don't understand the question

6. A good administrator will never

      a. make an unqualified decision
      b. accept responsibility for his or her mistake
      c. let others get credit for their own accomplishments
     d. I don't understand the question

7. Exceeding minimal job requirements by an employee should be

     a. viewed with suspicion
     b. grounds for sending the perpetrator to Coventry
     c. sufficient to justify psychiatric evaluation
     d. I don't understand the question

8. Bilingual capability is extremely important in the system because

      a. it permits you to obfuscate in two languages
      b. you may need to interact with other administrators who are only bilingual
      c. everyone knows it's important
      d. no habla ingles

9. A meaningful policy and procedures manual is

      a. uplifting
      b. the goal of every innovative administrator
      c. an oxymoron (like “innovative administrator”)
      d. I don't understand the question

10. It is important not to antagonize union members because

      a. the shop steward will call a strike and you'll be fired
      b. the shop steward will call a strike and you'll be fired
      c. it will lead to long and complicated grievance hearings after which the shop steward will call a strike and you'll be fired
      d. I don't understand the union contract

Part II

Match situations in column A with solutions in column B

C.                                                                                                           D.

1. An employee is smiling                                                 a. Ingratiate yourself with your

                                                                                                          boss

2. You are questioned about EEOC compliance        b. Fire him or her

3. You learn that an employee has kept copies          c. Warm up the paper shredder

of all your memos to him or her

4. Colleagues become quiet in your presence            d. Call a committee meeting

5. Supervisor (opposite sex) sends flowers                e. CYA

6. Supervisor (same sex) sends flowers                      f. Smile but don't commit yourself

7. You see a blind ad for a job that sounds                g. Give that person a mediocre

identical to yours                                                                     evaluation

8. Someone points out an error to you                       h. Call in sick

9. An auditor raises questions about the                    i. Spread a rumor

of the area you supervise

10. You are offered information damaging to           j. Have an asthmatic attack

your supervisor

Part III

Answer only one (1) of the following essay questions

1. Draw the ideal T.O. For the personnel office of an agency responsible for lowering costs of other agencies in city government. Please indicate numbers of salaried individuals in each job category, salary range, benefits, vacation schedule (including anticipated illnesses, funerals, etc.) and union status. A job description for each position should be included indicating only what is not the job of the person concerned.

2. An employee in you section discusses with you, in confidence, his thoughts about methods for computerization of the department and, during the course of the conversation, outlines his plans on a scrap of paper which he tosses into your waste basket. You are in total disagreement with his hare-brained Utopian drivel, however before your wastebasket is emptied you overhear your boss, an individual known to give large bonuses to those with useful suggestions, mention that he is interested in finding ways to “bring this operation into the Twenty-first Century.”

      a. List, in order of priority, the steps you would take in this situation.
      b. Describe the methods you would employ to ensure the credit going to the most deserving person so that he is fairly rewarded.
      c. Outline how you will spend your bonus.

3. Drawing upon the policies and procedures of your department, and with due consideration of the applicable federal, state, and city codes and regulations, as well as the significant judicial interpretations of those codes, design a new regulation to modify or counteract the effect of the most understandable and logical of your procedures so that it will be in conformity with the remainder.

             (Credit will be given in direct proportion to the complexity of the verbiage, the number of sections, subsections, paragraphs, and sub-paragraphs, and the potential for ambiguity and misinterpretation.)

4. You have just learned that there will be a surprise inspection of your department in 24 hours by a state auditor. Your manuals are completely outdated, your inventories cannot be accounted for, you are overspent by 137%, and several of your employees have been circulating a petition to have you discharged for sexual harassment. In order to come out of this “smelling like a rose,” indicate:

       a. how you will distract the auditor
       b. how you will select the appropriate sacrificial lamb(s)
       c. how you will convince the auditor that the various problems don't exist and, besides, it's your boss's fault, and
       d. that the whole concept of “sexual harassment” is a communist plot and a supervisor has certain reasonable prerogatives which come with the position. (Note: the auditor is of the opposite sex.)

5. List all the methods you know for killing a proposal by inaction. (Extra paper may be used for the answer to this question.)

6. The supervisor of another department has made a proposal which will save the organization several million dollars. This will be, however, at a cost of $362.41 to your department. Give the arguments against this proposal and prove the other supervisor is a dangerous spendthrift who will destroy the organization if permitted to pursue his plan.

Answers

Part I

1. d 2. d 3. d 4. d 5. d 6. d 7. d 8. d 9. d 10. d

Part II

1. e 2. e 3. e 4. e 5. e 6. e 7. e 8. e 9. e 10. e

While all the listed solutions in the second column are invaluable tools, (e) should always be the good administrator's first ploy. (For situations 5 and 6, literal as well as figurative compliance with this principle may be advisable.)

Part III

This was a trick question. None of the options should have been chosen. The proper administrative response would have been to hire a (not too) independent outside consultant (preferably one who will give you a vice-presidency in return for the lucrative contract) to choose which question, if any, should be answered.

Next episode: “My Demands Are Not Negotiable – What's Your Best Offer?” – What more can I say?