The First Step

                                                     

“My name is Sir Oracle, and I'm a retrophiliac.

“I've sort of known that for a long time, but I never gave it much thought. I never really considered its implications, or the effects it might have on others. But when I finally recognized the seriousness of the condition I “googled” it, and I think I now understand it better, and I understand myself better. But I also know that I'll always be a retrophiliac. I'll never be cured.

“And I'm glad.”

I know I'm not supposed to feel that way and I should certainly not say it in public, but that's the way it is. I don't want to be cured! That admission doesn't make for an auspicious start to the process, but the emphasis is on honesty and I have to be honest. So my first step at RAⁱ has to be seen as something less than a complete success.

A retrophiliac, by the way, is someone who's nostalgic; who has a preference for things as they were, rather than as they are. And that's the way I feel. Not for all things – but in some categories. Too many things are changing simply because they can. A lot of those changes are related to the increasingly rapid advancement of science. Many, however, are based on economics. Someone, or some company, has figured out a way to get money from the public and isn't shy about hawking a useless product, or a book about a useless technique, or something else, to a gullible audience. I remember a time when the latest car model wasn't very different from the last,ⁱⁱ and prices (and the stock market) didn't change wildly from day to day.ⁱⁱⁱ It was a time of stability. At least it seemed so to me.

Perhaps it seemed so because the primary responsibilities belonged to my parents. I had no concern about life's practicalities and little interest in the world around me. Except, of course, for baseball. But even there you knew that the players on your favorite team would be the same ones as last year. That's certainly not the case today.

Times have changed. Prices go in only one direction – up. Women's clothes seem to be fashioned as part of a competition for the bizarre, and the models are chosen for their appearance of boredom, or their similarity^iv to dazed drug addicts with eating disorders. Food styles emphasize exotically-flavored dishes in tiny portions.^v In addition, we live at a time when popular “music” isn't music. Rap with a backup of rhythm only, and loud^vi rock mock what we used to hear.

And things are moving too fast for me. Especially science.^vii There's a new discovery daily of what life is like^viii a few billion light-years away. But we'll never experience it, so we'll never really know. And most of us – people like me – won't care. The development of nanoscience, at the other end of the spectrum, may have more practical applications, but it is equally incomprehensible, as well as being hidden from our view. I do welcome many of the medical advances that have taken place in recent centuries, especially in therapies, but perhaps we have moved too fast in other aspects of biologic science. As much as I may admire the development of genetics, I'm not convinced that we'll gain from the cloning of human beings^ix or the ability to design our offspring.^x

There are several driving forces behind the rapid scientific advancement. The wish for fame is certainly one of them,^xi but an important factor is economic. Marginal improvements in unnecessary products are hailed as “game changers.” We wind up with frequent news conferences announcing a larger TV screen, or the latest model of cell phone, pod or pad or computer, indispensable even though we didn't realize we needed it. And the last one goes into a drawer or the attic.

I guess I'm an anterophobe.^xii It's not that I'm against progress, but I need the time to digest one “advancement” before I'm presented with its second, third, or fourth generation. I don't have a cell phone or other electronic device. I'm satisfied with what I have and with peace and quiet. In Greta Garbo's words, “I vant^xiii to be left alone.”^xiv We need to slow down.

Surely my views are not new. They've been the same for generations. I suspect that those who preceded us found the changes that occurred during their lifetimes too rapid. Our music didn't please them and they had trouble keeping up with all that was happening around them, whether in science, politics, or style. Our children and grandchildren will be appalled by the way we live. They won't be able to understand how we could go around without an iPad^® or its equivalent, and our great-grandchildren won't believe there was a time when such conditions existed – even though the particular devices are fossils. But that's the way it is. I can't understand how people lived before there was a reliable refrigerator.

So I'm a retrophiliac. But the more I think about it the happier I am. I'll leave the advances to the advanced, and wallow in my memories. I like nostalgia. Thinking about step one of my treatment has convinced me that I don't want to be “cured.” The world's wrong. I'm right, and I'm convinced that the best thing we can do is to stop the world.

Next episode: “Better Things For Better Living" – On the art of self-improvement .

i      Retrophiliacs Anonymous. Not the Royal Academy, Rifle Association, Rural Americans, Resident Advisors, or the Rabbinical Assembly.

ii      Actually that's as true now as before, but the advertising has become more aggressive, and minor differences are promoted as major improvements – advances that change the industry.

iii    Indeed. There were times when there was little change from century to century. But I'm not that far gone. And I have neither the interest nor ability to be a medieval farmer.

iv     Or, of course, they may be the real thing.

v      Both the flavors and the portion sizes are offensive. I would not be appeased by being served a large dish of something with, for example, cilantro. [Cilantro lovers and other fools should stop hissing.]

vi     It's always loud.

vii    I said it before, but it's worth repeating. Looking back at the previous mention of this idea gives me a feeling of nostalgia and comfort.

viii  More accurately “what things are like.” We have no idea at this time whether “life” exists elsewhere. We may suspect it but there is no adequate proof at this time.

ix     If it hasn't been done already.

x      Ditto.

xi     Sometimes leading to falsification of results. As the wise man once said, even a retraction adds to the length of your resumé. Fame, and employability, are sometimes more closely related to quantity than to quality.

xii    Don't waste your time “googling” it or looking it up on Yahoo! I made it up as the opposite of retrophilia, which does exist. It's not that I fear the future, but I think that our race to it is unwise. I don't think we look enough to the past and to incorporate its lessons before we go hurtling forward and making changes that are ill considered and which impoverish us.

xiii   No disrespect is intended by the use of her accented English. However she pronounced it, she had it right.

xiv    In “Grand Hotel.”