Like
everyone else, especially the very young and the old, I've been
thinking about death.
“And
yet most of us live our day-to-day lives without focusing too much on
our own mortality. For better and for worse, we do not live each day
as if it could be our last; we do not make the fact of death a
dominant reality in our everyday lives. When a loved one dies or
some tragedy strikes, we are perhaps reminded of our mortal
condition; we might imagine our children throwing dirt into our
graves. But the immediacy of life quickly returns, and we live
again, for a while, as if the horizon of the future were very long,
if not indefinite.”i
Cohen
and George are right. It's an intellectual exercise, not “a
dominant reality in [my] everyday [life].” However unreal though,
every now and then it comes to mind. For example, I
was thinking about death while listening to a eulogy at a funeral I
attended recently. I wondered about what would be said at my
funeral. (Don't we all?) There are so many characteristics a person
has, so many ideas he has about himself. How are these distilled by
the speaker? How is a choice made about what to emphasize? What
will be included in my obituary and what will be omitted? I know the
aspects of my personality and my life that I'd want to be mentioned,
but the decisions will be made by the speaker.ii
And, if the funeral is typical, my virtues will be overblown. How
can I fault that?
Of
course I won't know what is said. I've constructed the same
scenarios as everyone else for what death is like, and only the least
plausible includes consciousness of the life I would have just left.iii
Nothing is more likely. Or, better said, “nothingness” is more
likely.iv
Among the other possibilities is a kind of consciousness of the
soul, and knowledge and participation in some form of “afterlife.”
It's hard to imagine what this might be, but I treasure it as a
possibility in order keep open the hope that the end of life is not
the end. I
can imagine dying. There may be pain, or there may not. I may be
competent or unable to understand the world around me. Indeed, I may
be insensate. But
I cannot imagine death. I'll be alive when dying. There will always
be a future for me, no matter how bleak. Unfortunately, as far as we
know that is not the case with death. And that is what leads to
fear.
Elisabeth
Kübler-Ross
characterized the reactions to the expectation of death and to that
fear: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance –
DABDA.v
It's reassuring to think that ultimately I'll probably come to
accept death, and knowing that, I've already worked out a form of
rationalization of it. It doesn't tell me what death is like, only
that I shouldn't be afraid of it.
I
like to think of death as similar to what I experienced as a child.
(And it's comforting to do so.) My parents forced me to take a nap
or to go to sleep, and I fought it.vi
And that was especially true when something exciting, like a party
for me, was planned for the other end of the sleep. But when I
awoke, rested, it was clear they were right and the new “life” I
was experiencing was better than anything that preceded it. Sadly, I
didn't remember that the next time sleep was forced on me, so I
feared it and fought it the next time.vii
Even
so, it is our understanding – right or wrong – that there are
things worse than death. From Patrick Henry's perspective, and that
of many of his fellow Founding Fathers, the most valid stance was
“Give me Liberty or give me Death.”viii
And, in the words of Nathan Hale on the scaffold, “I only
regret that I have but one life to give for my country.”
More
recently the motto was “Better dead than red.” Catchy, if
somewhat jingoistic. Some may have taken it seriously, but in all
likelihood most considered it more a slogan than a policy. Most
examples of self-sacrifice are probably impulsive.ix
That doesn't make them less heroic, for those whose instinct is to
save others at the expense of their own lives demonstrate lifelong
training in patriotism and in concern for others. Perhaps it's
genetic,x
and is an evolutionary strategy for species continuity, but whatever
the reason for giving one's life for others, it demonstrates that for
those people death was preferable to the alternative.
Not
so heroically, we all rush toward death. We don't think of it in
those terms, but that's the reality. We live, as Cohen and George
remind us, “as if the
horizon of the future were very long, if not indefinite.”
We're eager to reach the next milestone in our journey – a
birthday, anniversary, new job, daughter's wedding, or retirement –
for what we consider to be reasons of enjoyment. Or we're determined
that some unpleasant task will be completed and we can move on. But
all of these things will take place in a future which we seek
earnestly. And all bring us closer to death, although that is never
on our minds. Nor should it be. After all, there's no point in
thinking about things like death. Even if others do. We won't have
to worry about it for a long time.
That's
denial. It's the first step.
Next
episode: “I Cannot Tell A Lie”
– My memory isn't good enough.
I Eric
Cohen and Robert P. George, “The Problems and Possibilities of
Modern Genetics,” in Constitution
3.0,
Jeffrey Rosen and Benjamin Wittes, editors. Page 186.
ii Of
course I won't hear it, but that doesn't keep me from wondering.
Perhaps I'll prepare a résumé
for the speakers in order that nothing I consider important will be
unavailable. That, however, is no guarantee that it will be used.
iii But
since I cannot know what G-d has in store for us, the speculation is
childish.
iv See
note iii.
vi I
didn't know what sleep was, and whether I would awaken. And even if
I did, I'd miss so much.
vii It
may be fantasy, but it's reassuring. Moreso than believing, as many
do, that nothing follows life but the rotting of the corpse. (If
they're right they'll never know it.) And from my point of
view,such a fantasy is no loss. In fact I will have been happier
than I might have been. If they're wrong, they've spent a lifetime
anticipating a nothingness of their own creation.
viii That,
of course, didn't prevent them from allowing slavery in the
Constitution. Politics and all that. Henry, himself, condemning
a strong central government along with condemning life in general
under British rule, opposed
the Constitution, but still owned the slaves he inherited. “I am
drawn along by the general inconvenience of living without them.”
Inconvenience, apparently, was also worse than death.
ix Suicide
may also be impulsive, but that's not the subject here.
x See
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/altruism-biological/
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