Guess Again

We're all competitive. It's our nature. Nature. Evolution. Survival. Why do you think we're called the human “race?” It's because we're always racing against each other.ⁱ Our goal is to win.

We don't want to keep up with the Joneses, we want them to try to keep up with us. And fail. We all want to be ahead of the curve. Listen to a conversation sometime, on almost any subject, and someone will be bragging about how he thought of something or did something or said something before any of the others in the group. Or elsewhere.

Or even that he's funnier. Do you remember “Can You Top This?” It was a program mostly in the 1940's in which participants vied for the funniest joke. We're forever trying to top everyone else in one way or another. We're always looking for the edge and we're always looking for a way to exploit it.

And it's always been that way. Among “wild”ⁱⁱ species it started with the need to eat, and the battles for food – whether that meant vegetable species growing naturally or other species which were, themselves, the desired objects. That was the Law of the Jungle. Kill or be killed; dog eat dog. In addition there was an impulse to protect territory which also involved competition and battles. And, of course, there were always confrontations regarding the choice of sexual partners. Our weapons might have been vocal, visual, or physical, but the need to mate, and the instinct to choose the most worthy partner, prompted dangerous, and often fatal, rivalries to occur.ⁱⁱⁱ

Not much has changed in millions of years, although some of the motives for combat are now illegal. Territory, food (and other resources including money), and sex remain among the most important “justifications,” but our fellow humans have added a few more reasons, including wrath, envy, and some of the other deadly sins – especially pride. Once they've attained the position they want in the pack, and obtained the prizes they sought, the “lower animals” are done. They're not afflicted with most of the emotional issues we have, so they don't feel the need to display the various conceits that plague us. They don't have to prove that they're smarter, more devious, better connected, and otherwise more worthy than those with whom they interact. But some of us are certainly^iv (or consider ourselves) are naturally better than the others, and we demonstrate it in any way we can. Even apart from war and other forms of mayhem and megalomania.

Superiority may be physiognomic, and for that we've developed beauty contests; it may be athletic and highly valued by sports promoters; it may be intellectual with its manifestations demonstrated on tests and in spelling bees, or in chess matches; it may be commercial with the prize going to the most gifted entrepreneur. You get the idea. The early bird may be satisfied with the worm, but we want praise in addition to the worm. Thus the competition. It's important to us to get the recognition that goes with the achievement itself. That's what the Guinness Book is all about. Most of the “records” are inane and result from self-promotion by some fool who makes the largest mud-pie, or eats the most Brussels sprouts. And there will, of course, be other fools who set out to break that record, or create a new one. Unlike the “lower” animals, people seek fifteen minutes of fame even if that entails the most perverted forms of reality or the most perverted “reality” shows. As Art Linkletter said, “People Are Funny.”^v

Those are some of the formal competitions which we have established, but our practice of feigned superiority extends well beyond that and into our thought, speech, and actions. Consider the back-seat driver, or the Monday morning quarterback, or even the kibbitzer at a card game. They all know better than the one they criticize. And after the fact they do especially well. It's that 20/20 hindsight thing. Second-guessers are always right. Even when they're wrong. Indeed, being wrong can be turned to competitive advantage. “If your way – which wasn't very good – was helpful^vi (and it wasn't all that helpful) imagine how much my way would have accomplished.”

Among the contests, though, is one that we're not likely to imagine, but it's one that is quite illustrative of our thinking. It's linguistic. Guess what it is? That's the challenge. To guess. And that's what the other person is always doing: guessing. His ideas are always offered without information and without analysis. That's the way the other guy works. And that's why you're superior to him. He guesses, but you think. His focus is on guessing and second-guessing. They're designed to show off his knowledge both before and after the fact. His approach is to show off. His goal is prestige, and his tactic is one-upmanship.

But you're better than that. You think. You analyze. You prefer the wisdom of of reasoned consideration to the sophistry of debates. And if you have second thoughts, you can demonstrate how you arrived at them with irrefutable logic. They're not second-guesses, they're reasoned thoughts.^vii It makes sense to reconsider your position when appropriate, and that's what you do. Perhaps you shoulda' said something else, but you're wise enough to offer your revised view in a calm, thoughtful, reasoned manner.

You don't need to second-guess. That's for the other guy. You've got a better gimmick. And everyone around will recognize that your approach is superior to his. That was your goal, wasn't it? You win.

Next episode: “Who Wants To Know?” – Would you like to be my friend?

I        Actually the terms, as applied to the contest of speed and the origin of physical characteristics, have different roots but both, in their own ways, bespeak competition. In fact, among humans, the struggle between races often rises well above the levels of opposition experienced anywhere else. A “running” battle exists between what we consider races.

ii       Many would include humans in this group.

iii     Even plants strive with each other for space, water, sunlight, nutrients, and success in spreading (including attracting organisms that will aid in pollination). That's what evolution is all about. If you don't believe in evolution ignore this note, but the competition still exists.

iv      Me, for example. If you disagree, you're wrong.

v       The show was actually created by John Guedel.

vi      And if “your way” hadn't accomplished all you declared it would, you can be sure that you'd hear “I told you so.” You can't win against a second-guesser.

vii     Thoughts are always preferable to guesses. Thoughts are the tools of the wise; guesses the hatchets of fools.