An Offer You Can't Refuse

“Sorry about your folks. That was a nasty little accident they were in. It's a shame they couldn't avoid it.”

“Yeah. Right. But somehow I don't think you're really sorry.”

“You got it. I don't really give a damn. Just trying to be polite. It won't happen again. By the way. This means a big inheritance for you. The business and their entire estate. A nice piece of change. Of course you'll want to give a quarter of it to us.”

“No I won't! Why should I?”

“Because I said so.ⁱ Call it a 'death tax.' And we want twenty-five percent of the business's gross receipts after that. We have ongoing expenses and it's in your best interests to help us pay our bills.”

“No it's not. This is extortion.”

“You really should watch what you say. People who shoot off their mouths sometimes regret it afterward. We got expenses and they don't come cheap. Don't think of it as your money – think of it as your life. After all, we provide you with protection and security, and a lot of other services.”

“Well I don't want all of them. I can take care of myself. And I don't want a silent partner.”

“Look, buddy. This ain't no democracy. Agree with our top man or you're out – and you know what that means. We make the rules. And if you want to take care of yourself, we'll take care of you. Understand?”

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Mafia shakedown?

No. An IRS assessment. Your government in action. There's no such thing as a free lunch; someone has to pay. And you're someone.

When the Constitution was written,ⁱⁱ both the power of taxation and the kinds of programs for which the government had to pay were quite limited. Congress was permitted only certain delimited activities, in line with the thinking of the majority of delegates to the constitutional convention. There was no income tax and the primary specified responsibility of the Federal government was the provision of defense. There was also provision for the “general welfare,” but the meaning of the term was not spelled out and both times it was usedⁱⁱⁱ it was associated with the national defense, suggesting that the “welfare” that was intended was the protection of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (property).

Times, however, have changed. I don't know the numbers and the percentages – I made them up – but the principle holds. The government can decide to fund whatever it wants and you, the taxpayer, will pick up the tab. You can complain all you want,^iv and protest the use being made of taxpayer money, but it won't do you any good. Talk is cheap, but programs are expensive.^v

Indeed. Times have changed. And perhaps we've changed with them. All three branches of government are more “liberal” than they were when America was founded. In that respect they reflect American society. We feel responsible for each other, and approve of governmental efforts to help everyone who asks. We have the luxury of speaking out and promoting virtue without it costing us anything. We're the good guys. Whether it's medical care for the uninsured, conventions and travel for our representatives and for the bureaucrats, food stamps for the poor, funding for (what the government considers) the arts, old-age pensions, transportation subsidies, provision of jobs for the unemployed, or whatever, we're all for it. That's why we have government. It will fund it.

The government is a lot like the Mafia, though. Whatever they do, it's with your money. The government isn't funding all these programs. You are. You're not getting a free ride. And they're doing it without your knowledge and consent. Sure you have representatives, but they're very much like the mob's soldiers – lots of bluster but little influence or independent authority. All you do is give them your tax money^vi and their bosses do whatever will get them votes and whatever they^vii see fit. Not that you have any choice.

After all, this ain't no democracy.

Next episode: “L'chaim” – To life.

I       Not a very good answer, but when some people say it you have to take it seriously.

ii       1789.

iii      Preamble and Article I, section 8.

iv      It's a free country, isn't it?

v       If Congress and the President approve of the program, you pay. Even if your representative voted against it, you pay. But if you voted against the representative, you pay. And if you boycotted the election and didn't vote at all, you pay. Are you beginning to see a pattern?

vi       Although you may find ways to minimize the bite – legally and otherwise. That's what accountants are for.

vii      And the lobbyists who court and support them.