Identity Unknown

It all started with religion. It often does. That's not to say that it isn't built into us from the beginning. It's in our DNA. But it's probably expressed more now than in previous times. No big surprise. Society promotes it. To one degree or another we're all unhappy with things as they are. And we're not always happy with who we are. Things can always be better. It's time for a change.ⁱ

Remember Abram?ⁱⁱ He was raised as a pagan. His father made and sold idols.ⁱⁱⁱ But Abe viewed idol worship as misguided. He rebelled, and he destroyed his father's constructions. Then, following the direction of G-d, he left his father's homeland – his homeland. He had adopted a new faith, the belief in a single unseen deity Who had created and Who ruled over the entire earth. And Abram spread his new faith wherever he went. He proselytized and converted large numbers of people, the first neophytes of the new “Abrahamic” religions.^iv

Many people subsequently changed both their outward identities and their internal beliefs and views of themselves. They did so voluntarily, based on an altered view of truth and reality. But religious conversion, which has a long history, arose from many causes – violence and military conquest,^v,vi political changes,^vii prejudice,^viii and convenience^ix are among the reasons in addition to conviction. Assimilation, and the entire concept of the “melting pot,”^x produced innumerable “self-reinventions.” And there were those who rededicated themselves to the religion in which they were born but which they had not followed. They were “born again.”

Personal reinvention, however, has a long history and has many faces. There has been rebellion against the ways of parents^xi since there have been children. The goal is often for children to be as different from the parents, and from the way they were born, as possible. It has resulted in different political philosophies, life-styles, food and clothing preferences, and the like.

People also change because of dissatisfaction with themselves. Charles Atlas made a fortune catering to the insecurity of “97 pound weaklings,” and nowadays plastic surgeons remake many who are dissatisfied with their appearances. As Tom Lehrer said, they “do well by doing good.” Cosmetics manufacturers and those in the fashion and clothing industries also profit from the desire of so many to be other than they are.

More radical are those who those who are, to one degree or other, unhappy with their gender or with the expectations that accompany it.^xii Some feminists fall into this latter group, the group that questions the expectations associated with their gender,^xiii but so do some men who would rather stay home and be supported by others. They argue – and their argument is not completely without merit – that the expectations are societal and are unfair and unrealistic.

More extreme in their rejection of usual gender roles are gays and lesbians. Bisexuals have the best – or worst – of both worlds. Proud declarations of their sexual preferences have become common. Their desires are different from what others may expect, but they demand that their practices be validated and considered unexceptionable.

And we accept those desires. We are sympathetic to them and sensitive to most of those whose self-images require changes in ways we may have once questioned. We were wrong. They are right. (Anyone has the right to define himself.^xiv At least to a degree. There has long been concern over immigration policies and the current bugaboo in this arena is that over “illegal immigrants.”^xv Admittedly many don't seek citizenship, but others do wish to change who they are.)

More radical among those wishing to change who they are are members of the transgender community. Reinventing their identity is a prime concern and, since Christine (George) Jorgensen's pioneering efforts, an identity change including anatomic alteration is possible. The reality, however, is that they may change their identities, but their DNA remains the same. One can make up a new identity, but not change genetic makeup.

The same holds true for race. However one may “feel,” however he may identify, his race is the one of his birth. We may admire people who choose the lot of those they consider less fortunate, or those oppressed by society, but they fool themselves – and, perhaps us – when they pretend to be other than what they are. The same is true of those who try to “pass” as members of another race, though we must recognize that our prejudice is usually the reason.^xvi

So who are we? It's not an easy question. We're lots of people – some are adopted identifications that we can change for whatever reason whenever we want, and some are inborn. The real problems arise when we can't distinguish between one and the other.

Nor between ourselves and the other. As Reinhold Niebuhr wrote:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

And give us the disposition to accept it of others.

Next episode: “The Lesser Of Two Evils” – Life as it really is.

 

 

 

 

I        “Mid-life crisis” is one example of identity crisis, but there are other reasons.

ii       He was later renamed Abraham.

iii       You won't find that information in the Bible. Much of what we are taught about our biblical ancestors is derived from Midrashim, explanatory stories that fill in the gaps left by the biblical narrative. If you can't find in the Bible some of what follows which refers to biblical characters, it is based on Midrashim.

iv        Initially Judaism, but, millennia later, Christianity and Islam.

v       Islam spread largely as a result of conquest and violence, and violence and terrorism remain striking features among many Muslim clergymen and their followers.

vi       Interestingly, some who are oppressed begin to identify with their oppressors. It's called the “Stockholm Syndrome.” Thus many of the conquered were forced to convert, but some did so willingly, even eagerly.

vii      The rapid growth of Christianity was aided by its adoption by Armenia as the state religion in 301 CE and, shortly thereafter, in 313, by its legalization in the Roman Empire. In later centuries, whatever variety of Christianity was followed by the ruler was often accepted by his subjects – voluntarily or otherwise.

viii     Because of societal biases, it was necessary for many to convert in order to gain benefits. Thus Mahler converted to Christianity because the law of the time barred Jews from directorship of the Vienna Opera. Such laws and various prejudices forced many others (for example the Mendelssohn family, including musical greats Felix and Fanny) to convert. And some of the later generations accepted the beliefs of their new faith, such as the Marranos who converted rather than leave Spain. [Apropos this situation, a Spanish village named Castrillo Matajudios (“Camp Kill Jews”) has officially changed its name back to Castrillo Mota de Judios (“Jews’ Hill Camp”) following a public referendum and approval by the regional government in 2014. The original change, in 1627, reflected anti-Jewish bias and has taken nearly four centuries to correct.]

ix        As an example – one of many – some convert for the purpose of marriage. Change is not always based on an inner need. Some make changes to please those with whom they wish to associate.

x        Popularized by Israel Zangwill's play of the same name in 1903.

xi        Including their religion.

xii      A good example can be found in Isaac Bashevis Singer's “Yentl der yeshive-bokher.”

xiii     They agree with Sigmund Freud's dictum, “anatomy is destiny,” and resent the situation. Not everyone accepted Freud's view. Karen Horney was one of the leaders of the revolt. She attributed the “destiny” to beliefs of society, not to any inherent quality of women. (Freud was speaking of women when he chose to attribute personality traits and their consequences to sex.)

xiv      Political definitions, like nationality, are, at least for the moment, somewhat different.

xv       Not that there shouldn't be rules and a clearly defined path to citizenship, but the long-standing fear of “foreigners” that has long permeated our society – a country of immigrants – requires education and change. Still we're more sympathetic to those who follow our immigration laws.

xvi      The problem of people trying to adapt to society's biases is the same as that of those who try to “pass” as members of another religion.