Below The Beloit

 

I'm feeling old today. The Class of 2015 of Beloit (Wisconsin) College was graduated recently – not a particularly mind-boggling piece of information. Of greater consequence, however, is the fact that when each class begins there, the school publishes a “Mindset List” (https://www.beloit.edu/mindset/previouslists/2015/) designed to inform the reader of the perspectives of the members of the class. The list, unfortunately, told me far more than I really wanted to know. It hit me where I hurt. I'll impart some of the intelligence from that list, which is designed to describe the world since they were born – 1993 on average.

Andre the Giant, River Phoenix, Frank Zappa, Arthur Ashe and the Commodore 64 have always been dead.

1. There has always been an Internet ramp onto the information highway.

2. States and Velcro parents have always been requiring that they wear their bike helmets.

3. The only significant labor disputes in their lifetimes have been in major league sports.

4. There have nearly always been at least two women on the Supreme Court, and women have always commanded U.S. Navy ships.

5. Amazon has never been just a river in South America.

6. Refer to LBJ, and they might assume you're talking about LeBron James.

7. The Communist Party has never been the official political party in Russia.

8. Women have always been kissing women on television.

9. Sears has never sold anything out of a Big Book that could also serve as a doorstop.

10. Public schools have always made space available for advertising.

11. Refugees and prisoners have always been housed by the U.S. government at Guantanamo.

The facts I've listed were extracted from a 75 item list (the numbers were inserted by my word processor and aren't those of the original document), and were the ones that most reminded me of how much I've aged. When I was young (as if you care) the world was different. The facts on the list weren't simply wrong – some of them were unimaginable. I won't describe why on a point by point basis, but in the middle of the last century life was different. I'm not suggesting that life was better then, only that it was different. The idea of computers, the internet, and all that has developed out of it were purely science fiction then.

Of course not all the changes are for the better, but we've learned to live with them. One of the most surprising things to me is that I'm surprised. The alterations have been sequential and orderly, like most changes. And I've observed them with interest as they have occurred. For the most part they were incremental (for example, there were threats of a campus riot when tuition at my college was raised from $750 a year to $850 – it's a lot higher now) and, however jarring, not entirely unexpected. Looking at them now, compressing long sequences into single changes, emphasizes those changes. The nickel Hershey bar of my childhood now costs a dollar. And it's smaller.

But I'd better simply accept reality and suck it up (language has changed too, though mine is probably well out of date). It's not Beloit's fault that the years are passing. I can't wait until the Class of 2015 is my age and reading the list current at that time. Unfortunately, I'll probably be long gone. Not only is the world changing, but I am.

Next episode: “F_g=Gm₁m₂/d^2” – A Weighty Issue