Passing On (Advice)

You know you're getting old when you start dispensing advice to those younger than you, and I accept the adjective. I'm old. I wobble some, but I still think. And while I can, I regret that I must inform you that you get to be subject to my “wisdom,” if you choose to be. So I'll tell you how I've lived my life – and it's worked out pretty well. Perhaps some of my personal rules (“my” is an overstatement since they're hardly original, but they worked for me) will resonate with you.

1. Hope for the best. I'm optimistic by nature. Pessimism doesn't improve anything. It just makes you worry about it.
2. Prepare for the worst. For many of us the worst isn't so bad. I'm far better off than most of the world's people but I know there are going to be problems. There are always problems, and only you can guess what they might be. So, as the Boy Scouts say, “Be Prepared.” (For the Coast Guard it's “Semper Paratus.”)
3. Play the hand you're dealt. It is what it is. Fix it if necessary and if you're able, but you can't hide from a situation just because you don't like it. Deal with it. It's not only about you, so it's important to react to what's happening around you. Do something. Remember that things are only inevitable if you don't change them.
4. Plan for the future, but act in the present. The past is informative so you should use it. But don't let it paralyze you. Act when you must act. Never confuse what you want with reality.
5. Trust small, but verify large. The promises of others aren't always kept.
6. Do everything you can for others (and that includes cheering them up)– as soon as you can – but,
7. For better or worse, family comes first.
8. Honor your obligations, whether a promise or a note on the calendar. (Remember that appointments are promises, and schedules should be respected and followed.) Your word should be your bond.
9. Remember that others may not be as reliable as you. Cut them some slack.
10. Never give up.

“Pablum.”

Admit it. That's what you're thinking. (Cover your mouth when you yawn.)

And that's what I would have thought when I was young. A lot of sentimental advice of an old man. And it is. But that doesn't invalidate it. You may not agree with it all and you may not follow it, but it's worth considering. As time has gone by I've realized that life is not simply a series of isolated experiences that you can finesse but a sequence of challenges that all bear on each other, and which, with a reasonable amount of thought and preparation, you'll find a consistent and effective way you can meet.

There's more that I wanted to say, but I can't remember what it is. Which brings me to a final bit of advice. It's hardly new, but it's very effective. I learned it from my father. He didn't consciously teach it to me, but it was easy to see what he was doing. In his shirt pocket he had a stack of index cards which contained lists of what needed to be done. Nowadays all those things would be listed on some sort of battery-operated pocket device. I'm sure there's an app for it. But I'm a troglodyte and I scorn such devices. I still use paper and a pen. The older I get the more I forget. I still remember, however, how to write, while I have doubts whether I'd be able to learn enough about the “smartphones” and their equivalents to make them worth both the expense and my time.

In any case, however, I've presented a few rules by which I live. Perhaps they're of interest to you. Perhaps not. I suggest that it might be of value to you to give some thought to how you might conduct your own affairs in a manner that will reflect reasonably well on you at a time when you're too old to make significant changes. We don't live forever. There are no do-overs, so we might as well get it right the first time.

Enjoy.

May 22, 2017