Winning And Losing

I saw Bill Belichick walking off the field last night after his team, the New England Patriots, lost the Super Bowl game to the Giants. He looked crestfallen. He must have been both disappointed and upset that the Patriots had come so close, and then lost. So must the team members. The Vince Lombardi Trophy was presented to the other team.

Vince Lombardi was a great coach. He was dedicated and determined, with a nearly seventy-five percent average for regular season games, and even higher for post-season play. For a while he was an assistant coach for the Giants – the team that beat the Patriots. He was the kind of coach who conceded nothing. “Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing.” He wanted to win. And most of the time he did.

But Bill Belichick is also a great coach. He's had his share of victories and defeats, though somehow or other defeats stay with you longer than victories. Especially in the “big” games. I guess that's true in all areas of life. We focus more on what might have been than what is. Not that Belichick shouldn't be disappointed, but that game is now behind him. It's better to hang up your disappointment than your helmet. I suspect that, like the professional he is, his focus now is on next season and finding a way to do better than he did this year. It won't be easy, but nothing is for a pro. And nothing is more satisfying than winning a difficult battle.

I rooted for the Giants, and I'm glad they won. They earned it. That doesn't lessen my sadness for the Patriots. They worked hard and prepared for a struggle which they knew would be difficult, but they were looking for a prize that was worth the effort.

Unfortunately not everyone in our society follows this model. And not everyone – especially those who see the prize as something they deserve, no matter what happens – will get a reward. The real reason they don't get it is that they don't get it. We live in a world where we want everyone to be a winner. “It's not whether you win or lose that counts, it's how you play the game.” That's what we teach our children. Everyone's a winner. Everyone gets a prize. It's nice sentiment, but it's nonsense. Many of those who lose are losers. They don't want to put in the effort necessary to win. They've grown up in a society that rewards them no matter what they do, and never makes demands of them, so why should they make demands of themselves? Their expectations are for a prize even when they fail. And if they don't get it, it's someone else's fault.

Not so Belichick and the Patriots. No excuses. They lost. But they lost like pros.