Oh, Give Me A Home

                                                                            

What's the point of the whole internet project as it relates to our debt? Wrong question. It's in the singular, and there's no single solution to our economic problem, so there are several different points involved. In fact the project can't possibly solve it alone, and wasn't intended to. Indeed, though it will provide an important start, many additional projects will be necessary. But there are certain gains that can achieved through the use of a nationwide internet capability and it's worth rehearsing them.  So here are some suggestions.

The first is the backbone of the proposal – internet and telephone service from wherever you are in the United States and its territories.ⁱ With whatever device you own you can have internetⁱⁱ service wherever you are, even in a moving car or train. And there will be no dead areas between towers.

Next will be the availability of a state-provided computer for everyone. True, that computer will only get material distributed by the government, but governmental “connectedness” will allow for greater participation by all – from the President to the average citizen – in those activities that make our country unique. Only a few are mentioned, but American ingenuity can certainly bring us many more applications.

The various applications have advantages, however, besides promoting good citizenship. As was demonstrated, they also offer us, among other advantages, the opportunity for more efficient and less costly operation of the government. The elimination of a need for congressional buildings with congressmen and Executive employeesⁱⁱⁱ working from their homes will result in lowering governmental costs, as will the implementation of a cloud-based IRS. There would also be better tracking of taxpayers resulting in greater revenues at a lower cost.

It has to be remembered that an important impetus for the entire project is the desire to lessen, and, perhaps, ultimately eliminate, the National Debt. The outsourcing of many governmental functions will contribute to that goal. And that brings us to the final piece of this aspect of the puzzle. Once we have sent Congress and the President home, and the other criminals to foreign countries, once we have outsourced most of our functions and moved the rest to inexpensive parts of the country, and once we have limited the use of paper, saving huge forests while maximizing the returns from such natural resources as shale-oil, we'll possess one of the most valuable commodities that exists anywhere – one on which our country was founded – property. The Federal government is the largest land owner in the country with nearly 65o million acres. While some has to be retained as Indian reservations or military bases,^iv a lot becomes available when the functions served are exported, and some simply serve as park land. Many claim that the flora and fauna are a heritage we should leave for our children (along with the massive debt we're piling up for them now), but that could be accomplished by building an area where some of them can live and be displayed in their natural habitat, and the remainder could provide us with a large injection of capital, capital that could be used in small part to maintain those new habitats but would largely be transferred to payments on what we owe. Development of that property would also provide us with many, many jobs. And with the current economic situation, the prices of new homes in the beautiful settings available are likely to be quite attractive, providing residences amid America's spacious skies where we can dream our patriots' dreams, and simultaneously end current land management costs while putting the property on the tax roles.

But in addition to land, we'd have a lot more to offer. Were we to outsource our correctional functions, to India for example, many properties would become available. Some could be converted into condominiums or other housing. And the ample surrounding property, properly landscaped and provided with suitable amenities might make the new residences quite desirable. Imagine living in a beautifully remodeled National Historic Landmark with an unobstructed and stunning view of San Francisco Bay, with rock pools and a colony of seabirds, and with access by the nation's first hybrid propulsion ferry. It's a dream, and no security will be necessary. And despite its name, the development would be a windfall, rather than an albatross. Occupy Alcatraz! It gives the “occupy” movement a whole new meaning. And the governments – Federal and State – have many properties already developed and only in need of a little freshening up to become sources of income rather than burdens on the taxpayers.

Moreover we, the taxpayers, own many other developed properties around the country that could be sold with their land to private developers at large profits, and they could benefit us all by their annual tax payments to the Treasury. Additionally, some of what already exists should be considered for increased tourist potential. Washington DC, for example.

Once DC is emptied of politicians, outsourced services, and unneeded bureaucrats,^v many buildings and open land would be available for “repurposing.” Because of its history as the nation's capital, it is already an important tourist destination, but, with the internet in place and the government moved elsewhere, let me describe a District of Columbia that would be far more popular with both Americans and foreign visitors:

The White House would be converted into a luxury hotel. The congressional office buildings, printing office, and other unnecessary and abandoned buildings, would be leased to banks and to major corporations, foreign and domestic, as home offices. The Library of Congress would be subdivided into countless fancy restaurants, large and small, serving the finest cuisines from all over the world to people with a broad range of budgets. The National Mall, almost a mile and a quarter from the Capitol steps to the Washington Monument, would serve ideally as the world's largest outdoor mall,^vi while the Pentagon would be subdivided as an indoor mall. While the footprint of the Pentagon is not as large as the Mall of America, it has seven stories to the Mall's four, and combined with the proposed outdoor National Mall mall, and the giant food court at the Library of Congress,^vii there will be plenty of action for all who come to visit – and it's far more convenient than Minnesota.

The various national museums would remain, since the American heritage is sacrosanct, but they would be supplemented by additional facilities to emphasize our heritage. The Lincoln Memorial, for example, would be turned into an expanded version of Madame Tussauds with tributes to all our heroes from Pocahontas to Wolfman Jack. The Viet Nam Memorial would be a superb outdoor cafe. And most important, especially for tourists, a large theme/amusement park would be constructed. “DC Adventure Park” would, of course, be managed by DC Comics^viii, although Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck are certainly part of our national heritage. A mechanical George Washington could throw dollars across the Potomac, Booth can assassinate President Lincoln, Michelle Rhee would distribute school vouchers, there's no end of sites that can be used as fun houses or chambers of horrors, and, as pièce de résistance, the Washington Monument could be converted into a parachute jump more than twice the height of the fabled ride in Coney Island.

And there's little doubt that, utilizing American know-how, we can come up with many additional projects for turning government owned and managed land into taxable private holdings, using the savings, as well as the sale prices, to cut our debt. (For example, wouldn't it make sense to transfer all the graves in Arlington National Cemetery^ix to some unused land in Iowa or North Dakota and build town houses on the site? And we could offer boat rides on the Potomac.^x) That's the goal. And a national internet will allow many additional projects to take place while promoting greater participation of all our citizens in America the Beautiful.

Keeping up with the times pays. And deer and antelope play more intelligently than elephants and donkeys.

Next episode: “All I Know” – And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.

i      One of the many points not mentioned earlier was that additional charges can be applied for faster service.

ii     And GBS.

iii    Including the President.

iv     Though many of these functions could be merged with tremendous savings. According to WikiPedia,there are 149 active military facilities in the United States, 115 that are closed, and 94 overseas. Even if the numbers are a little off, it is hard to believe some cannot be merged. Except for the need for particular political members of Congress to have facilities in their districts, despite the cost.

v      That's almost all of them.

vi     If it isn't converted into a flea market.

vii   The Supreme Court can eat there. It would be inappropriate to move the Justices and turn them into the circuit riders they used to be. And how much harm can the jokers do with Batman there to watch them? (See following text.)

viii   You know – Batman, Superman, the Green Lantern and all that crowd.

ix     We should probably leave the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier for old time's sake and because it's a good tourist attraction.

x      If you catch one of George Washington's dollars your next ride is free.