Great Expectations

I have no beef. At least no legitimate beef.

When I was born in 1939, a white male (it's not a politically correct designation but I am what I am) had a life expectancy of a little less than 64 years. I'm almost 77 so I passed that a while back. Even today, in 2016, the life expectancy of a boy born now would be 76.3 – down a little from last year – so I'm ahead there too.

The progress we're making in treating disease successfully, and in increasing life span, is truly amazing. Much as we may insult the medical profession and blame doctors for the ills of society, we've all benefited. Some want more and want it faster but they, too, will live longer (and have more time to complain) than would have been the case in the past. The biblical mandate, to provide for his complete cure (Exodus 21:19, translation by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan), has been taken very seriously. (Hu)Man(ity), was made in the image of G-d, and, while many are working toward our moral improvement, medical scientists are learning more about our bodies, and how to improve the world around us, in quest of more complete cures.

There have been major improvements in the available diagnostic tools, making it easier to discover diseases earlier and to characterize them more fully and accurately. And, or course, there have been, over the years, vast improvements in all forms of therapy – medicinal, surgical, rehabilitative, and even alternative means.

The research continues. Every day there is new information learned not only about specific diseases, but also about aging in general. Perhaps some day we'll be able to increase life spans based on this kind of information, rather then piecemeal through the treatment of particular maladies. But that's for then – not now.

I'm the beneficiary of some of these medical advances. MRI, CT, and a variety of blood tests, including genetic screens, have contributed to the ability of my doctors to understand my illness. Modern surgical techniques and recent medical therapies have also been employed in my treatment. Will they help? Only G-d knows, but what is possible for mortals to do is being done. I'm lucky – but I think I've said that before.

Noting my good fortune, however, doesn't solve all of my problems. I'm slower, more tired, and less steady than I used to be. And while my gustatorial preferences haven't changed, I find that I fill up much faster than was the case before.

Several years ago I volunteered for a study at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. The stated intent was to investigate both cognitive and physical abilities in people as they aged. From the perspective of cognitive skills, I recognize diminishment only in the ability to remember some words. The ideas are clear but sometimes I can't recall the word that goes with it. (It's interesting that the mind can visualize concepts without requiring the words that go with them. Cognitive content and the words that identify and describe it seem to be separate functions, and we don't require words to have ideas. It's hard not to wonder, though, the extent to which it was necessary to have vocabulary in order to formulate and imprint the ideas in the first place.) That, apparently, is a common problem associated with aging, and my wife and I have dealt with it by helping each other with words.

In any event, the study has focused my attention on aging as one of the contributors to my current physical difficulties, but I cannot ignore the disease itself and the psychological baggage that accompanies it. And, to a degree, I can't dismiss the thought that the placing of chairs, beds, tables, and other devices to make life easy for me isn't in fact making things harder by being in the way. Oh well, I'll probably never work it out.

But I've already outlived most of my cohort. That's what the numbers tell me. So I guess that I win. And I'm not tossing in the towel just yet. I still have goals. Mostly they're sort of deadlines. They're primarily family events that I want to attend, and I'm hopeful that I'll be fortunate enough to do so. My (and my wife's) sixtieth anniversary is June 26, 2020. I'd like to be able to celebrate it, although I won't hold my breath (or maybe I will). Bargaining won't help. The Judge of all the earth will do justly

There's another kind of goal, though, that I've long pursued. We – human souls – are children of G-d and made in His image. We are called upon to love and care for each other as He loves and cares for us. Helping each other and having responsibility for them – that seems to be one of the absolutes that cultural relativists say don't exist. But they do.

If I can have helped or guided one other, my life will have been worthwhile – at least to me.

December 31, 2016