Mixed Grill XXXVI

Good luck with this trash.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When intercourse of human events – Nine months before the Declaration of Independence (of the fetus)

Cremation – Cheap substitute for the real sauce. I just dreamed it up

A waist is a terrible thing to mind – Try Weight Watchers

Dog day afternoon – Don't forget the pooper scooper

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory – The story , too often, of the New York Mets

Hemidemisemiquiver – Holds only minute arrows

Cow tipping – She's worth a little more for the nourishment she brought

Promotion – Support for the Second Amendment, as opposed to the Pacific Ocean, which favors its elimination

Bottom feeder – None of the above

Distracted driving – Idiot's guide to basketball

Where there's smoke there's fire – Or at least a barbecue pit

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – The people who make horror films are counting on that

Necrophilia – Love's a must around the coroner

Don't reach out and don't touch somebody – Just talk and leave the rest to Echo

Turan Joe – Ancient coffee from Central Asia

Daddy's little girl – Incest or outcest, mommy doesn't like it

Deep in the heat of Texas – Sometimes it's more than 98.6^o

Why can't a broad be more like a man? (Mike Royko) – Is that what you really want?

Hot Spots – Global warming and global warring. Current opinion is that if one doesn't get you the other will. I'm not so sure

There's no such thing as a free lunch – Unless you count school lunches. (Don't eat them, just count them. They're worth what they cost)

Sacred cow – Intimidation for a holy purpose

Scared cow – Tied up and anticipating a visit from the butcher

Bitter butter makes better batters – Apart from beer, is there anything for relief pitchers?

The end justifies the mean – I suspected as much

Acupuncture and voodoo dolls – Both require needling but is either effective?

Nun of your business – At our firm we don't discriminate based on sex or religion

Winter at Valley Forge – Not even a nice place to visit, except to sleep there

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That'll hold you until next time.