Mixed Grill XXXVIII

My view of free speech is that although you can say anything stupid that comes to mind, I don't necessarily approve of being too explicit, especially in media accessible to the young (and old), and I favor the omission of expletives, but otherwise I'm fairly permissive – even of political speech and similar lies. And I'm certain bad puns and bad jokes are permitted by the Constitution.

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Better late than Tuesday – All right. The meeting's already started. But it's bound to be noticed if I don't appear until tomorrow's session

George Washington Bridge – Wooden teeth

Penny-wise and pound foolish – Or is it “Watch your pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves?” The British had Scrooge who, eventually, provided pounds for Tiny Tim. We Americans had millionaire Hattie Green who skimped on medical treatment for her son. She made sure the dollars took care of themselves – under her guidance

Women's suffering – It's far more than the vote

Three sales to the wind – I think I'll have a few more drinks before I look for bargains

What this country needs is a good five cent cigar – And a nickel that's worth something

Hot cross buns – Very attractive. Shown off by a tight skirt. And there's one in the oven

Party favor – At the office's Christmas celebration it may involve a bed

Four free – If you buy six at an elevated price

George Washington slept here – But did he get any sleep?

Glutton free – Gourmands not allowed

Hook, line, and sinker – Baseball terms (foul, drive, and pitcher)

White Knights – Racist novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky about chivalry in Moscow

The lady doth protest too much, methinks – And too loud. Suck it in. Trump will remain president irrespective of the rhetoric, the screaming, and the marches

I don't suffer fools gladly – They suffer enough without me

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery – Or at least the sincerest form of intellectual property theft

Kill two birds with one stone – And you'll be arrested for animal cruelty even though you're recycling the stone

Soup Nazi – Friend of the home despot

Book of knowledge – Published under a tree in the Garden of Eden

Who put the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's cheder? – And who left a brassiere in her nice Catholic school?

Marriage – The end of dates

Hickory dickory doc – Cigar store medicine man

Footloose and fancy fee – The podiatrist's new rate schedule

New York minute – That was then, this is now

I left my heart at the Stage Door Deli – Actually it was a corned beef sandwich with salami and chopped liver

Hole foods – Donuts, Swiss cheese, bagels

Bollywood – You think India? No. It's the cask in which some champagne is aged

Coming in on a win and a [big] payer – Ask any tout. Wunderbar (24-1) is a sure thing in the fourth. The fix is on

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All right. You've suffered enough for today.