Holding On

More than the Jewish People have kept the Sabbath, the Sabbath has kept the Jews – Ahad Ha’am

Asher Zvi Hirsch Ginsburg was an early Zionist and an essayist, writing over the pen name of Ahad Ha’am. He was secular but believed that it was necessary to have a Jewish state, not simply a state for Jews. Although raised in an observant household, he rejected many of the strictures of Judaism. He recognized, however, the centrality of the religion in the lives and in the essence of his people but, while Palestine would ultimately be the home of the Jews, now was not the time for them all to descend on it. Perhaps an ingathering would take place in messianic times, but meanwhile the Jews already in Palestine would set an example for those elsewhere.

Ahad Ha’am was what we now call a “cultural Zionist.” He believed in Judaism's ethics and in the Jewish People. And he knew that “Palestine” was their home. At least ultimately. He worked to establish it. But until then it was necessary to strengthen Jews in the diaspora, where he favored a Jewish nationalist revival.

Perhaps he was a “secularist” and not personally observant, but he recognized that it was our traditions that kept us together. And antisemitism. According to a citation in Wikipedia, Ginsburg wrote in a latter to Max Nordau, Only anti-Semitism had made Jews of us. Our best way of preserving ourselves was preserving Judaism.

For him it was Shabbat that kept us together, and there is no denying its importance as a binding force. Of course there are many others, of which a few examples are Torah, the siddur, the mezzuzah, prayer, and pride. Whether or not he “believed” in G-d, it seems clear that he believed in the Jewish People, and in the traditions that held them together. We have our own state now, but if we are to survive in a world that wants to eliminate us, it will because we follow our traditions.

The survival of the Jewish People over many millennia when other nations have come and gone has been noted by many, Jews and non-Jews, who have difficulty explaining it. Mark Twain wrote

If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one quarter of one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly, the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk.

Tradition has kept the Jews.

Recent surveys suggest the eventual assimilation of non-traditional Jews, while there will be a continued increase in the number of those who follow tradition – primarily the Orthodox. There has been, and will continue to be, a shift to the right among them. Whether this is good or bad is not the point. More important is the idea that tradition is what Judaism has going for it and, if we are to survive, members will have to pay more attention to maintaining and strengthening them, rather than discarding them.

Tradition, and the will to survive – whatever it takes.

January 18, 2017

Various Thoughts XIX

Federalist 47 tells us that tyranny is “the accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands.”

How does this relate to regulatory commissions in the government? They set the rules for laws passed by Congress, and they are the ones who decide who violates them. They also act as judge and jury.

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A transgender individual is likely to be viewed as a member of his/her new sex and previous records altered to reflect the new situation. That includes the birth certificate. The new documents would also contain a new name.

Irrespective of any questions concerning society's readiness to accept this concept in general, suppose someone, or, indeed, some governmental agency, like the police, was trying to locate this individual but was only able to get information from those who only knew the person in question prior to the identity change. How would you locate someone whose name and sex you get wrong?

A court-authorized name change or one that accompanies marriage is far more likely to leave some prior information unchanged, although they do make the use of public records more difficult.

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There's an explosion of accusations of sexual misconduct in recent years. In all religions, Around the globe. Chances are good that human beings haven't changed recently and it is what it always was, but the reaction of society differs from time to time, and our perception of what constitutes harassment too (now we feel free to relate current feelings as well as past perceptions – true or not) is more inflated. “She” claims to have been abused and we expect society to act on the basis of what she says and how we react to it: to praise our behavior and to decry that of others, irrespective of of the nature of the accusations. All virtue is on the side of the accuser for she is telling “a” truth that is beyond denial, even if it is not always “the” truth. And for her act she is worthy of praise while the accused is not deserving of trial. The act of which he is accused is heinous, and it should be left at that.

How society viewed the act at the time it occurred is irrelevant. Present standards are all that counts.

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Like so many others I'm a television lawyer. Obviously that's knowing a negligible part of the law, but enough to form some shallow ideas about what I see. They're probably wrong but they're interesting and promote thought.

The issue in question is intent. Can a felony be committed by someone who has no intent to do so? Sometimes yes and sometimes no according to what I've seen. Separately I've learned that under the Fourth Geneva Convention some people can't be prosecuted for crimes they didn't personally commit, which blows a hole in all the trials of those who drove getaway for murderers.

And what is the status of intent in religious law? In Judaism there are some sins which ire said to take place irrespective of intent, but not all. I'm confused.

January 16, 2018

Mixed Grill N+3

You may not think these funny because they aren't funny,

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Salamagundi – Mumbai sausage.

Supeheron – Look ma. No legs.

Water works – No need to see the urologist.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth – It's considered polite to read the card first.

A far cry – Three in the morning and it's your turn.

Ann of Green Bagels – She originated the St. Patrick's Day treat. Ideal with green beer.

Constitution of The United States – Overweight.

It's time for a change – 26^th Amendment.

Earache – ENT tool for cleaning out wax.

Three Bearers – A fourth needed for balance.

Down and out – Expensive duvet got torn.

San Fernando Valley – Rudy's kid

Child care – Concierge baby sitting

Hashtag – Bill in the diner.

Illegal Alien – Martian with green skin but no green card.

Inn the beginning – First B & B.

Cold war – Competition after invention of refrigeration.

Belle Curve – Use you're imagination.

Creationism – Christian Science

The route of all evil – The Pacific Coast Highway.

Robert's Rules of Order – Take it or leave it.

One Be or Not One Be – Failed first draft.

Play it again, Sam – Red.

Book it, Danno – A room in Hawaii's best hotel.

Mine's bigger than yours – More ore, too.

Half a loaf is better than none – But two heads are better than one.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum – But you won't find it here.

It wasn't all that funny anyway.

Believe it or not –Frankly I don't believe it.

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Or you may think they're funny. Your choice.

January 23, 2018

Rose Is A Rose

[In a little less haste I rewrote an essay I had assembled already – The Changing Jewish Heritage http://theimperiousloudmouth.blogspot.com/2017/12/the-changing-jewish-heritage.html– because I was looking for words that better reflected my point of view. I ask your indulgence.]

Ironic, isn't it. On Halloween, just over five centuries ago, Martin Luther doffed the garments of a position in the Pope's church and donned those of his new calling. With his 95 Theses he split with Rome and opened a wound that had existed in the church for hundreds of years. Wycliffe and Hus had expressed their dissatisfaction much earlier, but no significant movement followed.

Knox, Zwingli, Calvin, and others (even Henry VIII, though he was not noted as a theologian), however, soon followed Luther's lead and the Protestant Reformation was born. And there were new religions. Each had its own churches, rituals and beliefs – its own costume. From one, many. That's not to suggest there weren't commonalities. To paraphrase Gertrude Stein, Christian is a Christian is a Christian. At least in one respect. An Episcopalian is an Anglican is a Presbyterian – or, for that matter, a “Moonie” or a Mormon. They're all Christians, accepting the divinity of Jesus. They subscribe to the idea of a common heritage from which had arisen many different, but linked, religions – a common origin with a variety of different coverings. Humans wearing different costumes. Halloween. A day of sanctification.

The Jewish Reformation began toward the end of the eighteenth century and the start of the nineteenth. That was the start of Jewish protestantism. There had been “heretics” before, but no unified trend. The establishment of Reform Judaism marked the beginning of a movement to group Jews according to beliefs and rituals. It makes sense: a havura member is certain not to follow the practices Haredi Jews. But both, having Jewish mothers, are Jews.

Another irony. Neither sees the validity of the other's beliefs and (if any) rituals, but both pass the religious test. We are obsessed with the question “Who is a Jew?'” while ignoring the fact that it is not a relevant question. It was settled long ago. A Jew is the child of a Jewish mother (that excludes “patrilineal Jews) or someone who has undergone a valid conversion – whatever that means. Anyone fitting that definition is a Jew. But there are differences between a “social” Jew and one who practices “modern orthodoxy,” and it is self-deception not to recognize that they are different religions: they believe different things and their practices are different. As are their houses of worship.

It is not necessary to decide who is right – only to admit that we have different views and we worship in different ways. Jews have a common heritage. We are descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. But while we all believe that ours is the only “true” Judaism rather than the perspective of one of many “protestant” Jewish religions, the infighting is inevitable. We're all Jews, but we practice different religions. Ideally we'll take “Jew”out of the title of our religion and identify ourselves as Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, or whatever. Better still, a “Minyanarian,” “Schechterite,” and “Egalitarian.” Costumes reflective of their beliefs.

But the Messiah will come first.

January 21, 2018

Mixed Grill N + 1

I can't figure out where I am. I've lost track.

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What goes up up must come down – Remember that the next time you take a celebratory shot into the blue.

We've got your back – It's behind you so you can't see, but the red circles on your jacket make it easy for us to keep an eye on you.

20,000 Leagues under the sea – I bet you didn't know bottom feeders were so athletic.

Chopped liver – Good source for chopped iron.

Assignation – What happens when a citizen forgets how to write and where he lives simultaneously.

Mummy – Christo creation in BC Egypt.

Crunch time – March 14^th.

Pre ___ contract – Agreement to be signed by both parties prior to anything that might be considered sexual conduct when the media get wind of it. And they will. It's a big seller nowadays.

Potpourri – Smorgasbord in a commune.

Bait and switch – Prepare for numerous guests at a fishing party. Like exchanging weapons at a grouse hunt.

Double dip – It's okay. No one will see us.

Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts. (Richard Feynman – Nobel Prize winning physicist.)

Stop sign – Agreed in advance by lovers. Not always observed.

Bad news – No news.

Gregorian Chant – Cheerleaders' rap at St. Greg's.

Yellow submarine – Nervous Nautilus.

Back in the day – The target is even brighter.

Opposable thumb – Kill the umpire.

Preoccupied – There are even crumbs left.

Hemidemisemiramide – Act one.  Or least part of it.

Sopwith camel – Middle-eastern soup.

Thomahawks – Shoes for birds.

Lysistrata – #MeToo.

Baccarat – Uh uh. My money's on the cat every time.

Sexual abuse – Sailor kisses a nurse in Times Square as WWII ends.

The Belch of St. Mary's – Too many wafers

Aids – Jewish conspiracy to kill all Blacks and Muslims. Jim Jones cocktails.

Mistletoe – Worst investment of 2017.

Anticoagulant – Fitting life-long punishment for unindicted co-conspirators.

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I can't count. But I do.

December 11, 2017

Predicting The Future

The hardest thing to predict is the future.

That idea is so old that it's long past the cliché stage. But we never stop trying. For example although we may want to know when the Messiah is coming (for the first or second time depending on your theology), our sages have never been able to come up with any kind of prediction that has proved true or that is likely to do so. Indeed, we are taught that this is not something we should be speculating about.

Still, through the ages, we've been fascinated by the possibility that we might be able to foresee what is going to happen (please forgive the tautology). From the ancient oracles through Nostradamus, and to Jeane Dixon and other similar personalities, we've wasted undue attention to the interpretation of “signs,” intestines, tea leaves, Tarot decks, crystal balls, and the like as we plan our lives. We've made astrologers and psychics rich.

And we've also contributed to the coffers of pollsters and the media, by seeking and studying their “scientifically-based” guesses about our future behavior. Often, but certainly not always, they're right. Polls and surveys have long been used in the planning of political campaigns, business models, product offerings and similar enterprises, while others, for example those who inform us of the latest fashions and the music that's likely to be popular – rather than foresee they try to force the future. And because we're so easily led, their prophesies are often self-fulfilling.

One of my biggest heroes is Harry Truman. He was viewed as an undistinguished senator who made it to the vice-presidency because other candidates were unacceptable. Yet he has turned out to be what most historians view as one of our best presidents. Whether or not you agree with his decisions, and the continuation of Roosevelt's nuclear policy was one of them, it is clear that he successfully shepherded our country through a difficult period and made it great at a time when the world was in turmoil. And he did it his way – with strength and determination. Notwithstanding predictions of his failure (polls and “Dewey Wins” headlines for example) he led America through a difficult post-war period; notwithstanding “informed” guesses that he'd be indecisive, and criticisms that he didn't have the knowledge and the background for what would certainly be a difficult and torturous responsibility, he demonstrated that this very responsibility brought out the knowledge and the wisdom of a man who represented the highest of our values and the will to achieve them.

I raise this idea now because it is three days before the inauguration of our newly elected president, Donald Trump. By the time this essay is published and you read it he will have been in office for a year and you'll be able to make a preliminary judgment of his performance. Right now what we're hearing dominating the news is a very negative representation of his qualities and ideas. He is viewed by the media as ignorant, thin-skinned, impulsive, bigoted, and egocentric – and that negative assessment is conveyed daily (and strongly) to everybody who happens to read or hear what they have to say. The media's view is that he hasn't the temperament, background, or knowledge to help him through what is likely to be a difficult and torturous responsibility. There are daily protests of his election and statements that his election was “illegitimate.” (It should be noted that those protests come, largely from supporters of Secretary Clinton who, though not trusted by a majority of Americans, was viewed as “the lesser of evils.”) Other countries are accused of interfering in our election process (something America doesn't hesitate to do around the globe when it suits our purposes) making the election indefensible, irrespective of its fulfillment of constitutional requirements.

Donald Trump will be a minority president. While he received a majority of electoral votes, the same was not true of the popular vote and, as periodically is the case, there will be a call for the revision of the Constitution and an amendment that makes the determination of the president a popular decision rather than reflecting the choice of those who represent the diverse needs of the states that make up our union. Perhaps rethinking of the issue is justified, but it isn't as clear an issue as it is characterized, and it isn't the subject of this essay. Donald Trump is our President and we have to get used to that fact, at least until the next election.

The issue I want to address is the idea that some have already predicted what will happen during his administration. There is no question that some of the reservations that people have about him are valid. At least (to me) at the time of this writing. Consequently there are those who feel that his impulsiveness will lead to war. It is of no consequence that we have been at war every day of the eight years his predecessor was in office. Some are certain that he will divide our country. No mention is made of the fact that we are already more divided than we have been in previous years, for a variety of reasons – some based on the policies of the administration which the new president followed. There is also a fear that the poorer among us will suffer from any economic changes that will occur under President Trump, but no acknowledgment of the fact that it was those people, dissatisfied with the current situation, who elected him. In short, the current opposition (I don't know what it will be like a year from now) seems to be basing its opposition on ideological grounds rather than reality.

I must admit that President Trump wasn't my choice. And I am fearful of what his administration will do, but the reality is that our country has survived predictions of doom as well as prophesies of glory. There are times we've “taken a lickin' but [kept] on tickin'.” Only time will tell. Our guesses are of no consequence. All we can do is hope for the best.

January 17, 2017

Mixed Grill N + 2

Dismal definitions keep descending. If they're good enough for me (or bad – depends on your preferences) , they're good enough for you.

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Daddy's home – He got it in the settlement

Don't worry. There are no credible threats – No potential perpetrators are on the radar. So we must be safe. Or is this the time to start worrying?

Reward Card – Given every student at the end of each semester in academy for the rich.

Altered state – California.

Proctologist's tool – Colitis scope.

Catacombs – Where you go after nine lives.

Fashion designers – Rich sexual abusers.

Karl Marx – Funniest brother.

Moon landing – She slipped on, and he fell onto, guess what.

World Parallel – Sports classic on the other side of the sun.

Candad – The old man's had it.

Ho down – Disabled prostitute.

Made to measure – Born tailor.

Dressed in peace –But not for long. Now he's dressed to kill.

Panty hose – Step before chastity belt.

Brouhaha – Lite beer.

Windbreaker – Beano.

Death penalty – Inheritance tax.

Ectopic pregnancy – Leah not Rachel.

Earache – Device for scooping up wax.

Smash and grab – The best things in life are free.

Book of knowledge – Read it under the tree. You already screwed up.

Don't fence me in – Nothing that fell off a truck.

Ben and Jerry – Suppliers of cold comfortable.

Seven no-trump – And no tweeted distractions.

Child-proof cap – Adult-proof cap.

Social media – Distractions from any social interaction.

There's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip – Incompetent sexual abuse. Take off the slip.

That's all folks – Three little words.

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That may be all for now but who knows (apart from the Shadow) what's coming?

December 31, 2108

The King Is Dead – Long Live The King

As you, know I'm retired. I don't mean “tired again,” but that I no longer work in my previous profession. I used to be a radiologist, involved in teaching and in administration as well as actually practicing in the medical field (I couldn't choose between “art” and “science” so I used “field;” you decide between them or reject them both for another term). Many of my colleagues, and others, ask me what I now do with my time. They'll keep on doing what they've always done because they can't imagine doing anything else.

When I was born, during the (Franklin) Roosevelt administration, the average lifespan for a man was about 65 years and Social Security was keyed to that age. If you lived beyond that point you could collect a government pension – one to which you'd been contributing during your working years. It wasn't all that much but you were old and wouldn't need the money for very long. And you wouldn't have to occupy yourself for very long.

The times, however, are a changin.' People now live far longer, and the average American lives into his late seventies (or her eighties) with more and more living past the century mark. And that seems to change everything. More people are collecting Social Security and fewer are paying for it. Sooner of later something is going to collapse, but that's the next generation's problem if no solution is found. I'll let them worry about it.

Anyway, that's not the reason I'm writing. My main interest is in the questions I've been asked. Those who have not taken the big step, because they're too young, economically unable, or frightened wonder what I do with all of my time. My productive life is over, and I have gone out to pasture. “What do you do with your time?” The assumption is that my profession defined me. It was my life. And now it's over. That's true for many of them but not for me. They'll work until they drop. Or, as I said in the first paragraph, “They'll keep on doing what they've always done because they can't imagine doing anything else.” But I can, and I did.

In one respect I agree with them; my productive life is over – at least if you define it as the time spent earning a salary by providing a service for humanity (or whoever else is around). Social Security, my pension, and my savings provide for me in my “golden years.” Perhaps they're not as golden as they're cracked up to be (I think I addressed that issue a few years ago and perhaps I'll do so again, but not now) but, as a character in a Monty Python (movie – Monty Python and the Holy Grail) said, “I'm not dead. … I don't want to go on the [corpse] cart.”

And I don't agree that my productive years are over in the sense that there are other things I can produce besides x-ray interpretations – like these essays. Perhaps I was a better radiologist than I am a writer, but I get a good deal of satisfaction over setting the world right. No one may pay any attention, but (I've convinced myself that) I'm right and I have all the answers. And, since no one pays any attention, no one disputes my claim.

To a degree, these essays are my new life. They inspire reading and research as well as the writing, and they occupy more time than I have available. They're what I do with my time.

For many years I'd start projects which I never finished because I lacked the time to complete them. But that life is over. As a radiologist I'm dead. That death, however, was the beginning of a new life. (I don't know if my wife is happy that I'm home more now, but she's still working so we don't get in each other's way too often.) I have drawers full of started projects and accumulated notes to myself concerning ideas I'd like to develop. And I keep thinking of more all the time, writing them down and stuffing them in a pocket. I spent my entire working life preparing for my retirement, but I didn't know it at the time.

I enjoyed life as a radiologist. It was a lot of fun and I think I did a good job at it. As corny as it sounds, I think I actually helped people – both my patients and my students. But that time is past. That life is over. And the answer to the loss of an old life is the beginning of a new one. Prepare yourself. If you have something to do, your new life will be a blast.

January 16, 2017

Death And Taxes

The United States has gone to pot. Last century we tried prohibition of alcohol but it didn't work. So we legalized it and collect taxes as it kills an estimated 88,000 people a year, including more than 10,000 in alcohol-related traffic accidents.

Effective today “recreational pot” is legal in California since it satisfies voters and brings in lots of tax dollars. It may make users “high” and increase the number of deaths, but it's estimated that it will bring in a billion dollars a year. It's well worth the trade-off – unless you're one of those who dies. We've given in to what we know is wrong, but we'll make a fortune from it. Like alcohol, hash is an important industry.

Sixteen other states (counting the nation's capital as a state) have marijuana on the dispensary – Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Washington, and Washington, D.C. Perhaps it has some valid medical uses, but, more important, it has the support of voters and brings in lots of tax dollars.

Cigarettes have long been on the market. They're big business in our country. But, according to the CDC,

Cigarette smoking is responsible for more than 480,000 deaths per year in the United States, including more than 41,000 deaths resulting from secondhand smoke exposure. This is about one in five deaths annually, or 1,300 deaths every day. On average, smokers die 10 years earlier than nonsmokers.

Smoking is the cause of innumerable illnesses, but who's counting. We make a fortune on the tobacco industry. Smoking is good for the economy. Other details are irrelevant. Risk and benefit are the forces that drive us. The “benefits?” Tax dollars, generous help from whatever industry and lobbyists have to offer immediately and in the next election, and the love and support of voters. The risks – whether for alcohol, cigarettes, or pot are usually either ignored (consciously by industry) or denied. “It'll happen to someone else.”

Legalizing pot, we're told, is no big deal. It leads to good feelings and joy. And money.

What's to fear? If there's a down side we'll worry about it later. And there won't be. “It'll happen to someone else.”

January 1, 2018

Does The End Justify The Means?

There was an unsuccessful attempt on Hitler's life (one of many) on July 20, 1944. The motives of the participants in the plot may have varied, but there was agreement on one point – the end justified the means. Hitler was on a path to destroy Germany and all of Europe – and ultimately the entire world. If he could not be convinced to cease his actions by rational debate he had to be stopped otherwise.

One of the oldest questions mankind has asked itself is “Does The End Justify The Means?” Are there situations which merit our violation of “absolutes.”

"If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all them even in a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves." -- Winston Churchill

There are many considerations. The issue posed looks like a “yes-no” question, but I don't think it is, although I don't know how to categorize it. I'll list the considerations as I see them just below in outline form, with some questions about them. Perhaps you'll understand my quandary.

1. Absolutes. What are they? What's their derivation? Are there penalties for violation?
2. Ends. What are they? How important are they?
3. Means. What are the means? Whom do they affect. Involved people or onlookers? Who pays the price?
4. Letting everything be. What are the implications of not acting? (See Churchill quote above.) How bad is the status quo?
5. What are the implications for those who act? Does the action benefit them?
6. Who decides all of the above? If it is not a personal choice, whose input, if anyone's should be sought? How much time is needed for a decision? Who participates in the decision-making?
7. I'm sure that more is involved, but that's all I can think of at the moment. I leave the rest to you.

The original question can only be answered “sometimes,” although it's not always clear when. It's not always an easy decision. Was ending the second world worth the cost of those civilians who died in Dresden and Hiroshima, or should other means have been found? Should a police officer always be barred from using lethal force on someone who is unarmed? Is self-defense justifiable notwithstanding the reality that it may be applied out of fear rather than reason? Where does it start and where does it end? And who decides? And when?

Simply proclaiming that the end never justifies the means is virtuous, but it doesn't take into consideration that virtue is not the goal of all mankind?

The hard part is deciding what answer to use when.

It depends on the end and the means. Most (but not necessarily all) would agree that ending WWII justified whatever steps were required. Tens of millions lost their lives in that war because of the insanity of a few.

Do the ends justify what may seem mean? Do we punish children of illegal immigrants in order to demonstrate the intent to follow our own laws? Do we forbid abortion because killing the fetus is the means to the end of happy women? And do we recognize that “ethicists” who claim to know right from wrong are simply acting on their own prejudices.

It's an old but persisting question because it has no answer. We cannot settle it. One size does not fit all. But the knowledge that there is no single formulaic solution gives us room to invoke our own sense of right and wrong irrespective of the certainty of others. As long as that sense is based on full consideration of the situation and its implications, not just on what sounds good at the time.

December 24, 2017

Mixed Grill XIV

This is scheduled for publication on January 7, 2018, but today is December 27, 2016. Not a big surprise. I've always been ahead of my time.

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Tomorrow is Elvis's birthday. And if there's any doubt in your mind, let me assure you that the king lives. Celebrate joyously.

Hoedown -- Hootenanny for a disabled prostitute

Think small – Better still, don't think at all.

E = MC² – Whatever you need him for, E runs one helluva' shindig

Made To Measure -- Born to tailor

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap (Napoleon Bonaparte)

Walt Kelly's birthday greeting to a three-year-old

Once you were two dear birthday friend

In spite of purple weather

Now you are three and near the end

As we grew some together.

How forthful thou, forsooth for you

For soon you will be more

But fore one can be three, be two

Before be five, be four.

Book of Knowlidge – Of most subjects

Better Homs and Gardens – Syrian self-help magazine for horticulturists

Those who do not remember history are doomed to something or other

Braise the horde, repast not malnutrition – The chief's orders when a large missionary group unintentionally brings earthly salvation to a starving cannibal village

Some of the parts – They can be found at the crash site

Today is the last day of the first part of your life

The Moor the merrier – Not Shakespeare's perspective (He'd probably go for “Moor's the pity”)

Peace is Hell (Harry Truman - 1945) – It wasn't a call for more fighting, but a recognition of the complexities of the post-war era

Give me liberty or give me debt – The IRS opts for the latter as an inalienable right, and does its best to secure that right for all of us

MENE MENE TEKEL UPHARSIN – The handwriting is on the wall. As are the crayon marks, the pictures, and the greasy fingerprints

Break Glass, Pull Handel – And get rid of all the composers in between

Coming in on a win and a prayer – We did what we could and, thank G-d, they lost. So we're in the playoffs

Charge of the lite brigade – No wonder they lost

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all – But it's best to have loved and won

Unfinished Sim – Don't give up. Wait by your phone. Schubert has some time left and may call in the end of the work

What's all the buzz about? – Toy Story was overrated

Belle Curve and the Bottoms – Motown group featuring a siren and a naval motif

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I'll try to do better next time. I'll fail.