Mixed Grill XVII

I am very intolerant of other people's puns. They're usually bad or silly and not worth repeating. Mine, however, are usually bad and silly and not worth repeating, but I shall anyway. And you'll be blessed with their (high or low) quality. Or you can simply delete this message.

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Stanley Steamer – Starbucks new coffee foamer

Vatican – Pope Francis outdoes President Obama

Maxwell Silverhammer – Jack Benny's secret sports car

It's a bird, it's a plain, it's Eremophila alpestris

What goes up must come down – Except prices

Benadryl and Jerry's – Hypoallergenic ice cream

Hog butcher for the world – And butcher of Cleveland as well

Make the world safe for democracy – Shoot all the Republicans

Computer (r)age – Don't reboot, boot.

Klaatu barada nikto – A word to the Gort is sufficient

Tapeworm – Adult inchworm

She sells sea shells by the seashore – And Jim Moran sold a refrigerator to an Eskimo

Stingray – Singing policeman and blind singer/pianist

Poker faith – I can fill an inside straight without smiling

Leave well enough alone – Leave bad enough alone; in short – butt out

Blarney Stone – Everyone expects spin from Oliver

Timing of the shroud – Carbon-dating fabric

Civilians – Spanish soccer team

I feel your pain – Now vote for me

Love means never having to say anything

Carry me back to old Virginny – Borne in the USA

You could be swinging on a star – Lynching reaches new heights

Weal of fortune – It takes money to make money

Scientific principles – What does physics have to do with ethics?

Bluebird of hairiness – Transitional evolutionary form

Some people see things that are and ask, Why?

Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?

Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. (George Carlin)

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Go to work and do something useful.