Mixed Grill V

As Art Baker said, You asked for it.  Well, maybe you didn't, but you've got it anyway.

FAIR WARNING – This edition of “Mixed Grill” contains some of the worst puns I've every published. For pun lovers that will qualify it as desirable, but for those not so addicted the warning is justified and may cause an immediate deletion of what follows. Before doing so, however, be aware that there is material in addition to the puns, quotes, and bad jokes, and this may justify your reading of the document. No refunds, however, if you're not satisfied.

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If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. (Winston Churchill)

Beltway – The more fat cats, the bigger the belt needed

Let's Do It – PT for Cole Porter – It is nature that is all simply telling us to fall in love. Porter, however, doesn't go into detail

Bregress – The literate Londoner's way out of the EU

Old Buttermilk Skye – According to Hoagy, when he was young (the dog not Hoagy) he was brown. (A hoagie can be made on a hot dog roll but it ain't the same.)

I'm an old cowhand – I get deported next week

Alternative facts – Where the real truth lies

Cocaine Addiction – Poppy love

An 800 Pound Gorilla Weighs 800 Pounds – But the (African) elephant in the room averages 4.6 tons

Populist – Rubble rouser.

What did dogs do before there were fire hydrants? – Or is the proper question “where?”

Attic Fan – Athenian partisan; fanatic

Yes I Can (2) – Jarring memoir of someone who thought that with enough heat and pressure one could preserve what wasn't any good now to be dealt with by others in the future.

Tripoli – Really wide shoes

Al Dente – Rent-a-Wreck special

International League – About 16.668 kilometers

You can believe in change. I don't.

Politically Incorrect – Any ideas which disagree with mine

Safe Space – Solitary confinement or other venue where there is no one to disagree with you. You're the only one who counts and any such disagreement is unacceptable. Certainly not a college campus which is (or, at least, ought to be) the site of vigorous debate of conflicting ideas

Oxymoron – A moron or an idiot (yes, I know that's not PC) on oxy, or some other narcotic, or an “expander of consciousness” who thinks “deep” thoughts which are usually shallow, silly, and self-contradictory

Que Serape, Serape – Mexican dry goods store

What Would You Like To Do Dear?
– My preference would be for the first since the second makes no sense whatever, but the decision is yours.   (That way I can blame you if there's a problem.)

An eye for an eye only evens the score – Ya' gotta' do better than that

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk – Bumper sticker I saw in Jerusalem

DST allows longer days and more slips and falls – Means more money for lawyers

Congress shall make no law … Was that written to give the (elite) President and Judiciary the rights it was denying Congress? The anti-Federalists who promoted the idea of a Bill of Rights feared the “elite” and favored local representation – but that of local people in a local legislature. States' Rights. What were the States entitled to do? How would you change the Constitution? (Will Rogers)

If stupidity got us in this mess, why can't it get us out? (Also Will Rogers) – We never learn.

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You ain't seen nothin' yet. – (Al Jolson)