Mixed Grill XXII

I probably told you this already, but just in case I want to let you know that I've scheduled these blogs more than a year in advance. I intend to keep it up so there will be something to read after there is no one to write it. I'm not so easy to dispose of. And in that line, here are some things of which I want to rid myself now, rather than waiting, and who's a better patsy than you? (Besides, I'm already ahead of my goal so I might as well slip it in here.) Once again I warn you against taking the number of this offering very seriously. It reflects the order of writing and assembling rather than that of publication. Get out the anti-depressants. You'll need them.

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Humantaschen – The head's still in the hat

Faster pastor – Staple of Nevada marriage and divorce mills

Head shot – My Kopf runneth over

Rasputin/Lenin/Stalin/Putin – Russian infield

The uncompromising attitude is more indicative of an inner uncertainty than of deep conviction. The implacable stand is directed more against the doubt within than the assailant without. (Eric Hoffer) Those who consider any one, or groups of, politicians as uncompromising [and wrong] should consider their own convictions

Let me call you, sweetheart – If you'll let me call you Ishmael

Uterus – Square one on the road to Birth Canal

Razzipapa – Father of all photographers

Input – Russian contribution to UN discussions as dictated by the leader

Dove coat – Nehru jacket – you remember them, don't you?

It Happened One Night (Not) – Starring Harvey Feirstein and Ellen DeGeneres

A Modest Proposal – An offering by Hannibal Lecter VIII

Harpo Marx – My recommendation for Speaker of the House

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen (Winston Churchill) – [Actually a good politician can prove that it did, in fact, happen just as (s)he predicted]

National Grammar Day (March 4) – Than which we can imagine no more word-perfect event

No Trump – Playing each suit without regard for any other. (You thought I was going to get political, didn't you? Think again.)

Leap Second Time Adjustment Day (June 30 or December 31) – He who leaps second needs time for an adjustment

Maundy Thursday – Penance for Randy Wednesday

You may fire when ready, Gridley – Chef's directions to one of his staff. Possibly HR

Life Support – Welfare

Shakespeare, lettuce, and tomato – Classic with a non-meat alternative

Witless protection program – Use of euphemisms

Leave a message when you hear the beep – Robo response when you call 911

We're not chopped liver – Tyson Foods's new motto

Sushi – Call for Japanese pigs

Phish Story – Internet message from Nigerian canner

Whore's Feathers – Stripper's Costume

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Did the anti-depressants help? At least be prepared for next time.