Fragments I

Sexuality

I started this recently but I have more questions than answers – both on this subject and others. In fact I've started a bunch of essays, but lack the patience to finish them. They contain ideas I haven't worked out, but the questions come rapidly and time is limited, so I leave it to you to work out the kinks, or whatever else you find. If you're interested. You can send me your take (if you want to) via “Comments” at the end. Sometimes they'll involve one subject and sometimes there'll be multiple subjects – like “Various Thoughts.” Not to worry, though. All will be named “Fragments” so you can decide to skip them if you choose.

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Over the years the conversation has changed. When I was growing up, sex was a taboo subject but now it's part of normal conversation on the radio and television; in the media, the movies, the theater and even in political conversations.

And when I was growing up, no one talked about homosexuality; the group now designated as LGBTQ didn't exist. No one discussed ED or other sexual dysfunction. There was no such a thing as sexual dysphoria and transgender conduct. Either they were all well hidden or they didn't exist. It's now fashionable to introduce sexual issues at all possible times. The closet door is open and no holds are barred.

But in addition to discussing the joys of sex, there has been an upturn in the extent of talking about sex itself, and it's effects on society. Not only does this involve sexual preferences and practices, but also their misuse – especially in the past.

Men have always been men and I doubt that there has been a significant change in the number of rapes, although terminology my be different since the institution of marriage. It's reasonably certain that political affiliations don't affect the incidence. Whether you favor evolution or another mechanism, as the cause, but is the current flurry strictly a result of DNA?

And women have always been women. Lysistrata made it clear that divisions of power were not absolute. And Joan of Arc, various saints and courtesans, the Amazons, and what we can glean from a plethora of historic and literary works suggest that not very much has changed over the years apart from society's reaction to the situation, and the conversation.

In recent days there has been a spate or stories, accusations, allegations about sexual abuse, although there is no good definition of the term. Most of them relate to incidents that are said to have occurred decades ago, and are being reported now. Which raises two questions – why are they being reported in such an inflammatory manner, and why now – following the admissions of an admitted participant who was elected president, although prior presidential misbehavior usually went unpunished or was ignored or played down? Whether the confrontations occurred is not the issue. It's likely that's so in most (but not all) cases, though the recollection of detail may be faulty, or self-serving, or both. In days past the accusers would have been suspected of collaboration. It would have been assumed that the women were trading themselves for employment or other fiscal advantage and were complaining that they didn't get what they wanted, or they were somehow trying to shift the blame to someone else lest their families disown them.

When, and this probably applies to most cases, the accusations were factual, the delay may have resulted from fear of retaliation by the powerful man, or shame concerning the incident. The current slant of society places greater emphasis on the complaints and the likelihood of guilt on the accused. One accusation breeds many, primarily of actual incidents, which are usually remembered favorably and involve famous people – newsworthy ones with deep pockets. I discussed this situation before, but I'd look at the issue from a different perspective now.

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Large number of allegations about sexual abuse (needs definition). (Slacks and drab outfits are satisfactory during the day but, more alluring outfits are used in romantic situations, though the women my claim that they are wearing what they like.) Allegations by a wide variety of men against both men and women years, and decades after the events cited are dealt with in other subsequent essay.

Why do women prefer enticing clothing but deny that it is men they want to entice?

Now Why, And Why Now? – “Justifications”

Societal, fear at the time, revenge, self-image, political, bandwagon, profit, fame

What constitutes “consensual?”

Calendars – cheesecake, beefcake

Whistles

Does it matter who says? – “nigger” or “bitch” – Is it permitted among some?

“I love it when you talk dirty” – Men and women”

At what point does dirty talk become an offense?

Sexuality

Men speech, women clothing –Both may incite “unwanted” contact.  Sages mandate tznius clothing by women so as not to incite their passions.  It was a problem then.

Some women state that a woman's search for sexuality is the same as a man's. Should an accusation against a woman rate the same headlines as on against a man? Should the penalties for the two sexes be the same?

Demand for equality despite DNA. Some women want to be the “same” as men irrespective of the differences. What should be the response to demands for equal salaries for those who want to choose their own work hours or have less experience on the job?

Sports handicaps – Should they persist or has Billie Jean King made equality legitimate and a 5' 2” woman should be welcomed into the NBA?

November 27, 2017