Harebrained Schemes 8

Floods occur. Harvey is a striking example and offers a severe warning. Numerous homes were ruined – especially the lowest floor – and the cost of rebuilding will be enormous. More so, the lives lost or changed make the situation far worse. The problem cannot be solved, but it can be ameliorated. As houses are rebuilt, and existing houses repaired, it is ridiculous to suggest raising them – especially houses that preexisted the disaster – because foundations, pipes, electrical connections are still in place and they would be difficult to move.

The obvious answer is to lower the ground around them. Every house should have a deep moat with the area around it cleared of earth. The earth, itself, could be used elsewhere, or even nearby, for the building of dams and dikes. It would be a valuable commodity, and any trees existing on it could be sold for their wood. In addition, the clearing of the land would provide jobs for those put out of work by the flood. And it would provide a place to store rescue alligators.

Don't cry when nature serves you water. Make ice cubes.

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I recently suggested the building of robotic companions to keep the lonely entertained. The more I think about it, however, the more it occurs to me that this may not be enough. The robots I proposed would speak back, and even it their views corresponded to your own, that might be a distraction for you.

Better, or at least in addition, work should begin on the design and construction of robotic service animals. They need not have artificial intelligence so they likely would present less of a challenge. The animals would attend to all your needs and desires – at least as far as animals can. Lap or non-lap settings could be included in the plans, as well as controls that determined if stomach rubs were required. The animals would be of whatever species you wished, and whatever age you required. They'd be able to bring in the newspaper and, with intelligence options, they could read it to you.

If you turned on their sound systems they could be used as guard animals, protecting your house. If so programed, they would bite and otherwise maim intruders. Bullet-proof construction would protect them from vicious villains exercising their second amendment rights. The animals would be “loving” to the degree you found satisfactory. And they should allow you in places reserved for those with service animal – although they would not be of interest to live and dirty pets. No feeding would be needed.

And their breath would not smell.

They would accompany you if you chose to go for a walk, but walks at all sorts of bizarre hours wouldn't be necessary. Nor would cleaning up after them.

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A final concern that requires attention is global warming. Whether you attribute it to natural causes or believe that human activity is involved, there is ample evidence both of its existence and its effects. Although there are numerous proposals as to how to minimize those effects, and even to limit its progress, the phenomenon remains.

Fear of warming exists, but perhaps global warming has features that can be harnessed and used to advantage. Perhaps it's not a problem but an opportunity. If there is excess heat or winds it would be helpful if we could recycle that excess into energy using some kind of converter. There are certainly many inventors who could come up with such an apparatus.

The energy so provided could be used to power air conditioners, cleanup services, or other projects in need of juice. We might even be able to make money out of it.

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I'll try to be more realistic next time.

September 4, 2017